WHCC 157 AO (G Morley 57)

Maori-Oxshott 117 AO

by Damo Honey

I am still at a loss to describe Saturday’s game – not taking away from one or two good individual performances it was quite frankly the worst game of 1st XI League cricket that I have been involved in for some years. This makes the fact that we came away with 13 points all the more amazing.

Walshy lost the toss – yet again – its getting boring writing this – and amazingly Maori chose to field in the searing heat despite having only 9 men.

Perhaps the reason for this decision was that they had seen the state of Toby Green – opening the batting still blatantly drunk from the night before and unaware of what had happened to him between 9pm and 4am. However, he belied his state to hit one or two nice shots (probably hitting the middle one of the 3 balls he was seeing) before the familiar Woking and Horsell 1st XI collapse followed. All of a sudden we were in all sorts of trouble at 55 for 6 and Toby A had joined Morlers on 5 ducks.

Quite how this had happened I don’t know – both sides seemed to be treating it as nothing more than a stroll in the park although Maori now had 10 players.

Finally we saw some application from the skipper who joined Glunn to put together a match-saving partnership and give our bowlers something to bowl out. When they were both out – Mutch for an excellent 57 and Bulldog for a crucial 18 – Curtley then gave us a further boost – showing us what we all know he can do in belting 25 off 27 balls. Magoo stuck around as well to his credit and the innings was declared at 157 for 9 (either that or Rhino went in and got a duck and we were all out – I cant remember which one).

Following a splendid tea from Mrs Walsh, the Bulldogs took the field and saw Maori-Oxshott’s openers smash the ball everywhere before Curtley – as he so often does – took the crucial wicket of their best batsman Hewitson.

Glenn and Dikko then got to work and despite some dropped catches and bad luck took the game from Maori’s reach. Dikko finished the game by taking his 5th wicket that of Tony Murphy caught well by the showboating Neo! By this time Damo had totally lost the plot - making the cardinal error of listening to his vice-captain and sending his deliveries into orbit, which were then sent back there with considerable interest.

 So the game was over – thank god. Now it was time for fines, by now the Pavilion Mentalist had returned from football and Couch was approaching double figures of Woo-woo’s – a productive session ended as ever with Magoo’s words of “can I pay you next week”. Bets are still being taken with regard to whether Munge or Damo will have to pay a certain fine first before Morlers gets round to paying for his World Cup sweepstake team.

Many points were then accumulated, Mentalist and Couch leading the way – whilst Gibbers achieved a personal best (losing 3 points in the process) and more people were vowing never to drink aftershock again.

Only 2 questions remain –

1)      Where is Trolley Man?

2)      How did Couch manage to leave without being hit?


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