W & H 217 for 7 off 40 overs

Richmond 37 all out off 22 overs

Bulldogs won by 180 runs
By Damo “Rhino” Honey

As it seems that the Pavilion Mentalist has become the “Turncoat Mentalist” and transferred his allegiances to the Arsenal look-alikes in GU22, it is up to me to give you the latest update on the Bulldogs in white from GU21.

All due respect to Richmond but nothing less than 13 points was expected from this game against a side who had managed only 2 losing draws all season. Once Richmond turned up with only 9 players the result looked even more of a formality but it still had to be attained.

The fact that 13 big ones were bagged and tagged was satisfying but the way in which it was achieved was all the more pleasing. It was a thoroughly better and more professional performance than last week’s game and it was good to see the old Bulldog spirit back in evidence.

Humandog and Smithers started at a rate of knots before the first boat sailed past and for the 16th time this season the opening pair had failed to make it past 50. The second boat followed quickly and with both the openers back in the hutch it was left to Dikko and Reegs to up the scoring rate even further to around about 7 or 8 over before disaster struck. Another ball sailed out of “The Home of Crucket” struck sweetly by Dikko’s 7 iron and we had now run out of spares. The search team was despatched and Magoo was lifted into the hedge, balls were found and the disaster had been averted.

Neo succumbed to the spun and in an effort to avoid any more ball losses Woking cunningly decided to send in Walshy under the guise of Geoff Boycott to lower the run rate, which had become ridiculously high. However, despite Geoff’s best attempts a score of 200 was looming. In an attempt to lighten the situation Walshy instructed the rest of the team to pad up and at one stage there were six players waiting to come in.

Dikko was out for a superb run a ball 80, followed quickly by Boycott, before James “Redgrave” Morley and Toby “Pinsent” Aldred both narrowly avoided adding to the increasing collection of zero’s. At 191 for 6 surely we were going to make 200, although it was pointed out by “Statto” Munge that if we had lost a wicket at that stage then all 3 remaining batsmen would have to make their highest Saturday scores of the season to make it! Another wicket did fall and the stage was set for Rhino – despite suffering a nose bleed from the thought of coming in at single figures – and sure enough he cracked his first boundary for over 2 years taking us above 200 for the first (only??) time this season celebrating like he had scored a century at Lords. There was just enough time for “Stuart” Surridge to crack 3 fours in the last over and the innings was declared at 217 for 7 off a mere 40 overs.

This left us acres of time to bowl out 9-man Richmond. Morlers started it off with a deuce of wickets and a celebration a la Chris Silverwood at Guildford. Dikko joined in the fun at the other end before leaving Cat Flap and Beautiful Ben to finish off the tail with only 37 on the board. Ben showed that he has the potential to become a regular 1st teamer next year and Rhino showing that the Cat Flap is not always open taking his second caught and bowled in a row. A note should go to Gubbers as well for a wonderful one handed showboating catch in the gully.

The best thing was that we bowled and fielded well in circumstance where we could easily let our standards slip. It was a shame that the game was not more of a contest, a number of us have been waiting 3 years to get our revenge on Richmond and to be honest it just wasn’t the same. It’s a shame to see any club go downhill like they have this season and I hope that their obviously talented youngsters come through and make them a better unit again.

Now the game was over soon after 5 and there were now some serious points to be gained – however, the aftershock bottles were ignored until late perhaps due to the serious dent in peoples pockets by fines – and no one achieved double figures. Despite this Munge slipped at the top by having a little cough the next morning, although surely he will sow up the title this weekend as his nearest rivals are away. In the meantime Couch was trying to claw his way back into peoples good books following his shocking performance the week before and was busy cooking away on the splendid new bbq which he had bought and assembled the previous day. Much respect has to go to his kebabs and his marinating skills.

Anyway good luck to those playing this weekend and looking forward immensely to the End of Season Karaoke – sorry Munge Karoake isn’t it??   Ahaha…

Final thought has to go to the topsy-turvy world that we live in – I wonder what odds you could have got in Ladbrokes of Damo hitting a his 1st boundary in 2 years to take us above 200 for the 1st time this season in the same week that both him and Giles got jobs and that Couch behaved himself.


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