1st XI Profile Pics
* cricket records taken from play-cricket 1998 onwards to start of 2010 but missing the 1999 season as Couch has stolen the scorebook because he didn’t get many wickets that year
The Old Giles Green
Nicknames: Mr Magoo
1st XI Runs: 597 runs @ 11.94
123 catches and 37 Stumpings
One of the 1st XI’s longest servants despite only recently hitting 30. Often found hungover, yet keeping immaculately behind the stumps during the game or stood proudly naked bellowing out ‘Bob Te Lay Le’ in the bar after the game.
A very promising middle order batsman in the late 90’s became unable to hit a boundary for over 700 days in the early 00’s. Legend has it that he once hit the last ball against Streatham for six to win the game only for it to be given as four…..! Nowadays he stands strong in the face of adversity unless of course up against the Dulwich umpire in the showers.
Has a love-hate relationship with booze that is second to none and regular winner of the leagues poshest wicket keeper award.
Despite being regularly late for games, possessing the smelliest kit and having the eyesight of Mr Magoo his keeping is regularly brilliant and match winning catches/stumpings have become the norm over the years.
The New Giles Green
1st XI Runs: none
Owns a filofax, turns up to games on time, organized but as yet unproven at this level.
Nicknames: Morlers, The Swerve, Audi
1st XI Runs: 1401 @ 18.19
Wickets: 83 @ 18.99
Morlers arrived at W&H in his prime at the turn of the century, but countless nights of strawpedos and snakey b soon sorted that out.
A crucial player in the clubs promotion year including an incredible 6 for 6 (sux for sux) against Chertsey, he rejuvenated himself in 2008 with a top ten placing in the league averages and his batting has saved many a perilous position. His slip fielding is second to none at our level, but no one who was there will ever forget the one he dropped at Beddington!
In 2002 he sought his own personal Olympic dream during Woking’s promotion campaign scoring 4 consecutive ducks in a runless period which lasted from May 26th till August 3rd, sadly he fell one duck short of the Olympic ring collection he craved.
We hope that this year is only a temporary swerve in his career with us.
Nicknames: Badger, Rhino, Pikachu, The Power
1st XI Runs: 390 @ 7.65
Wickets: 266 @ 18.11
Stalwart of the club, top wicket taker and finishes regularly in the top ten of the leagues bowling averages and widely recognized as the grumpiest left arm spinner in the Championship! The grumpiness spawned the nickname ‘The Honey Badger’ after the world’s most vicious animal.
One half creator of the life-threatening Hasslehof-Rhino drinking competition and even more famously once turned a ball past the outside edge in 2007. That ball aside his consistent bowling of darts earned him the likeness to Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, whilst his batting can be comically effective especially when using the ‘best late cut in the league’. Famously inept at fielding off his own bowling, his cat flap has more loose hinges than our scorebox.
Rarely seen without a pint of snakey b in hand and purple lips post game, but in the words of the 2002 Simon Vicos classic adaptation of Bohemian Rhapsody – ‘Can anybody find a bird for Rhino please’.
Nicknames: Pogo, Pogo, Pogo (pronounced differently)
1st XI Runs: 594 @ 22.85
Wickets: 44 @ 20.89
Arrived at the club in 2008 and made an immediate impression as a loud mouthed, aggressive South African on the field and an enforcer off the field. Now in his 2nd year as captain Pogo has already had a great influence on the 1st team and the club in general. He has installed a missing professionalism to warm ups/preparation for the game and is working very hard with Billy to ensure that the talented youngsters that we have coming through are handled the correct way.
n the bar this is a big season for Ryan, his fines sessions are brilliant and many of his punishments/traditions have crossed the hemisphere well even if the recipient of a ‘Rumbler’ may disagree! However, unlike on the field he has a tendency to become Captain Oates around 10pm off it and even Jarrad has been heard to utter the phrase “Where’s Ryan gone?”
Back on the field and Pogo will be hoping to continue his form on the back of 2009 where his wickets, runs and aggressive captaincy so nearly led to a deserved promotion.
Nickname: The Human Dog
1st XI Runs: 2490 @ 23.49
Wickets: 12 @ 30.42
With the days of arriving (late) at the ground still dressed in dinner jacket from the night before long gone (?), Toby is now more likely to arrived armed with toy scooter, pram and a plethora of different size balls in the hope that he will be able to coach Lucas to be half as good a fielder as he is.
Can be a deceptively destructive batsman with his vicious straight drives, but ‘Just when you think he’s setting off, he hits it straight down deep mid-off’ and no longer can he confuse the opposition with he eagle grin and chat of ‘I’m batting sh*t today’ after playing and missing.
Captain for 3 seasons in the mid 00’s, he led by example in the field by taking some of the best catches you will ever see my friend. There is no one else you would rather have under a high ball. Nearly led us to promotion in 2006 and 2007, and even got his old school boys to keep us from relegation on the nerve-racking last day in 2008.
Post game Toby likes nothing more than a snakey b or a bottle of ‘carsul’ but remember he can’t down his drinks because his Nan couldn’t! And if he does try to down it the following outcome is likely….
Glug glug glug…… spew…… “M have you got the mop please……. Anyway what was I saying”
Nickname: Quaggy, Q, Liar
1st XI Runs: 2690@ 36.35
Wickets: 64 @ 20.98
The clubs first overseas player and 13 seasons on he is still here, which is probably the biggest endorsement the club has had.
Set the league alight in 1998, scoring a then league record 769 runs @ 70 and chipping with 23 wickets @ 16. Then the full reality of Woking and his new found friends (including snakey b) kicked in. The waistline expanded and his batting average was cut in half the following season!
Despite this we were delighted to have him back at the club in 2002 only to find out that ‘he said he’d play for Woking, but he’s telling lots of lies’ and he ended up playing back garden cricket in some leafy suburb.
Finally returning in 2003, he rekindled his love with snakey b and even took on the captaincy for 2 years. Has been an integral part ever since - oh apart from leaving the club again in 2007, burning his kit, vowing never to return, only to reappear in a new slim line version in 2009.
Still liable to win a game on his day with both bat and ball, but still yet to do a bbq in his time at the club.
1st XI Runs: 1106 @ 28.36
When Tom’s international jet-setting playboy lifestyle allows him to play and his butler is available to drive him to games, we are privileged to witness the best cover drive in our league by the right handed David Gower. Tom has been arguably our most consistent batsman over the last few years and certainly one of the most stylish.
Away from the crease Pimms struggles with some of the fundamentals such as learning his team mates names, catching the ball with his hands rather than his head and pouring drinks during fines into common pint glasses rather than the 18 carat gold goblets he uses at home.
For years he has been begging for a chance to be given a bowl, but all chance of this was lost when he unveiled the story of how his form tutor had once written to his parents explaining how unhappy the school were with the application he had shown at improving his technique.
Dear Mr Dunbar………
Nickname: Ando, Mooncat
1st XI Runs: 536 @ 20.62
Wickets: 56 @ 22.93
The return of the Ando this year to the club makes the absence of an overseas player in 2010 easier to burden. Whilst Hayden didn’t pile on the pounds that Quaggy did in his 2nd season he did follow his fellow countryman by suffering from the 2nd season blues and more importantly by snaring himself an English rose. Who will forget that night in August 2005 where he announced that he wanted to find himself a woman and turned to who else but M and Damo to help him out!!!
Another player who can win a game with either his batting or bowling on his day and another excellent fielder. Off the field it will be interesting to see how Ando copes with the drinking fines this year, who can honestly say they want to see him serving behind the bar in an Under 13 cricket top, but equally who can honestly say they don’t fancy a return to the days of Gin and Mulk!
Nickname: Qais, The pigeon herder
1st XI Runs: 457 @ 19.87
Wickets: 24 @ 26.58
Qais has possibly the fastest hands ever seen this side of the wild wild west. To truly understand how hard Qais has the ability to hit a ball you have to have batted with him and found yourself lying face first on the floor after the ball has grazed your inseam and rebounded off the side screen. An average just shy of 20 doesnt indicate the runs per balls that many a T20 player would pray for.
With a golden arm to boot and the reliability of this seasoned war horse Qais is a player who can single handedly turn a game with his bat, and just as easily with his arm. Tasked with keeping Shazad “pigeon” Hussein focused on games has proved a hurdle for Qais, but one we hope he will eventually scale.
Nickname: Steek hom peerie
1st XI Runs: 563 @ 40.21
This seemingly quiet Afrikaans speaking South African joined W&H in 2009. Jan is well known for grumbling incessantly about being unable to time the ball regardless of the potential dangers of standing near the Brewery road bus stop as he once again pounds the leather ball well over the boundary. After taking some time to settle his brazen war cry to the god of cricket of “steek hom peerie” has endeared him to all at W&H.
Massive potential and runs await Jan and we wait with baited breath for a batsman quiet capable of breaking all records laid out in front of him providing he can stop falling prey to the dreaded full toss.
Nicknames: Posh Aussie, Bully, J Dog
1st XI Runs: 894 @ 37.25
Wickets: 11 @ 24.45
Arrived at the club in 2007 claiming that he was once better than Ricky Ponting, then proceeded to look like he was batting with chop sticks in the warm up game. We soon realized that this was just rust and by mid season Jarrad had shown us that he was far better than Ricky Ponting…… at leg spin.
In 2008 we saw Jarrad at his true worth, top run scorer, 1st XI player of the year, fielding trophy and a match defining spell of 4 overs 0 for 41 against Churt.
Off the field Jarrad has become known as the Bully and is an important operator at fines, especially when it comes to taking phone calls. It doesn’t matter whether you want to be chatted up, abused or an extra player for the Sunday side, Jarrad is your man, so give one of the 1st team a call on a Saturday night between 8 and 10 and you will get a chance to speak to the guy once described as “no he was far too posh to be an Aussie”.
1st XI Runs: 0 @ 0
Wickets: 16 @ 23.31
Shazad is lovingly referred to as the pigeon and for good reason. If anybody has ever watched a pigeon you will not miss the similarities with this gifted opening bowler. The slightest breeze has the ability to tear his concentration to shreds leaving a shell of a man who providing he does not trip in his run up will still by sheer instinct still bowl the unplayable ball. Shazad though maintains the ability to shred lower orders and is an integral part of the current W&H team.
Not known for his batting prowess, and definitely not his fielding either, Shazad has given us hours of pure simple amusement as he wonders down to “fine leg” 4 balls into an over not having the ability to count to six and just realizing he has water there.
1st XI Runs: 239 @ 18.38
Jerry finally got a deserved run of games in the 1s last year and played a couple of crucial innings during the unbeaten run at the back end of the season especially a match saving knock against Cranleigh.
A fitness fanatic, if not in the gym after the game Jerry endorses the well known W&H theory that re-fuelling is an important part of the game and without him several Woking takeaways on a Saturday evening would need to search for new business.
Nickname: H-Dog, The Chosen One
1st XI Runs: 19 @ 19
Wickets: 7 @ 7.71
There were many promising signs for Henri last year as he broke into the top senior sides in only his first season. Not only his undoubted quick bowling talent, but a keen eye with the bat and also an ability to arrive with dirty whites or in need of food which has many of his peers in the 1st team envious.
Big things are hoped from the ‘Chosen One’ and he has not disappointed this year with a couple of match winning displays already.
Nickname: Sideshow, J-Dog
1st XI Runs: 49 @ 12.25
Wickets: 2 @ 66.50
Made his 1st XI debut at the age of 13, it would have been sooner but the fine for longest hair was still in operation before that and would have cost him a fortune in pocket money.
Talented all-rounder who one day soon will be winning 1st XI games with either bat or ball. Was given the added responsibility of being in charge of the overseas player in 2008 when it became clear that their time keeping (arriving in June) was appalling. A scheme which sadly has been halted after he failed to prevent Digby from getting too drunk at the Nationalities party.
Nickname: Woodsy, Chip Fat
1st XI Runs: 185 @ 9.25
Wickets: 6 @ 50.50
Hustled into the 1st XI side at a young age during the tough 2004 season, Woodsy hasn’t quite established himself as a regular yet, but we all know he will in good time as he continues to improve as and all round cricketer year by year. He also continues to grow year by year and rumour has it that he will be returning to the club mid summer from uni at the grand height of 7 ft 2 inches.
Well known in the local area after he ran the fish and chip shop at the age of 14 and who can forget his alleged affair with Woking’s most famous gender changer Nadia. Scorer of a century in the 2s and taker of many 5 wicket hauls, his return from Uni is eagerly awaited.
On the periphery
Not in the 1st XI squad at the moment but knowing W&H’s availability records, they are only one bank holiday in May away from a game back in the 1s.
Nicknames: Porters, Chippy, Britlack, Timmy
1st XI Runs: 515 @ 15.15
Producer of some of the clubs most legendary singalongs although strangely never liked to join in with this one. ‘I know a bloke whose name is Chippy…. He’s never scored a 1st XI fifty’. Now factually incorrect of course.
Nicknames: M, Munge, Minge
1st XI Runs: 207 @ 8.63
Do something for the club! Is there any role this man hasn’t done for the club? Sadly few remaining at the club will remember what a talented all round cricketer M was before a nasty shoulder injury put pay to his bowling back in the mid 90’s. Back then he was an integral part of the team, but since then he has been only a bit part player. However, during the 00’s when required he managed to save several middle order batting collapses and cause several middle shelf fridge collapses. The latter proving very expensive in the silk-shirt buying department. His excellent fielding was another bonus to the 1s whenever the call came.
Nicknames: Couch, Tashy
1st XI Runs: 118 @ 5.9
Wickets: 147 @ 15.57
Ok yes Couch we all know you have taken more wickets than that but the 1999 scorebook is missing where you took 869 wickets………
For years Charlie was the 1st XI’s top wicket taker. The Ashley Cook end of the ground was his. If you wanted to bowl at that end, then good luck to you. Indeed any balls you might find in the shrubbery over there are likely to have come from Charles inducing the batsmen to hit him for six. Its true he had all the tricks of the trade.
Since his catalogue of nasty leg injuries he has been reduced to bleating, shouting, irritating people, throwing cutlery around, and not going to the loo last. You may also have heard that he keeps our rather beautiful ground in great shape, especially when the blades on the mower are lowered.
In truth he could still be bowling for the 1s now were it not for his injuries such is his natural physique/futnuss levels cultured by years of keeping Marlboro and Becks in business (other brands are available). Although he has since given both of these up, the former after he set fire to a tree during a game at Ashford once.
More than partial to a ‘woo-woo’ he recently claimed that the Hasslehof Rhino challenge cost him his job, his house and his girlfriend, now there is a committed club servant!
Nicknames: Gibbers, Smithers
1st XI Runs: 332 @ 10.06
Wickets: 25 @ 43.12
willing servant of the club whether it be facing the new ball in the 1s, facing the Surrey Championship committees or fronting the clubs karaoke night. Never let anyone down in the 1s, his bowling deserved more success when he played and his fielding was always a bonus. Now about that Rusty Roof…….
1st XI Runs: 98 @ 6.53
52 Catches and 9 Stumpings
Never sure if Deano actually believed that he was playing for the 1s as the phone calls he received must have been pretty bizarre. ‘Can you play this weekend as Giles has dislocated his shoulder whilst play mixed netball / play fighting with a girl whilst dressed as Scooby Doo etc…… But he proved himself as a like for like replacement motivating his team, keeping superbly and failing to hit many boundaries. Ever a man keen for a business venture Deano and family founded the W&H Crèche in the 00’s and are rumoured to be pocketing 20% profit of any soft drink/packet of crisps sold on a match day!
1st XI Runs: 216 @ 9
Quiet, shy, retiring Richard stabilized the top of the order to good effect when required, its just a shame that he never felt the need to encourage his team mates in the field or offer words of encouragement to the opposition batsmen…….
Nickname: Roger Whaaaaaaaaart
1st XI Runs: 425 @ 12.14
Wickets: 27 @ 30.04
Now in charge of the future of the club in the 2nd XI, Roger not only has nearly 30 years on many of his team mates but also 30 times as many dance moves. The youth are in dangerous hands!
1st XI Archive
Gone but not forgotten
Nicknames: Rosco, Maggot, Mooncat, Brother Of
1st XI Runs: 1474 @ 17.76
Wickets: 110 @ 20.05
Every Saturday someone would have to load up the computer programme in Rosco’s memory bank, unfortunately sometimes someone would forget to do this or worse still load the wrong programme and Rosco would be found on buses circumnavigating the South circular or attempting to catch trains to Warrington instead of Wallington whilst he was supposed to be opening the batting/bowling.
When he did arrive to games his inability to ‘bowl at the stumps’ frustrated team mates and opposition alike (the opposition as they were unable to get bat on ball and wanted to be put out of their misery!) Another performer who could win a game with bat or ball on his day, would probably have won many more if he had been around at the start or end of the decade when the squad was stronger.
Off the field he was a regular performer in the bar wearing none other than his famous London Irish shirt. It became obvious to many when Rosco became drunk as for 5 minutes you would be sat there having not got a word in edgeways, wondering if the roof was leaking and trying to work out where the mosquito noise was coming from.
Nickname: Beautiful Ben
1st XI wickets: 11 @ 41.36
Another stalwart member who has sadly moved on, but keeps in touch. We hope one day he returns to play although given that he is the only person known to tell his wife that ‘he is going to see another woman’ rather than admit that he is coming down the club, it may be unlikely. Apparently hit THE Tyrone Henderson for four once to win a game, but doesn’t like to talk about it……..
1st XI Runs: 154 @ 9.06
Made his mark on the 1st XI when appearing as a sub fielder in 2007 against Ashford when the game was slipping out of our hands only for us to turn things around and become a lucky charm.
One of those guys who everyone liked (unless you were the sense of humour shy Valley End captain), he became a regular in the 1s towards the end of the decade, playing a part in many important partnership.
Currently embarking on his new job of teaching the Brazilian ladies how to play cricket…. It’s a tough life.
1st XI Runs: 190 @ 17.27
Wickets: 24 @ 11.88
So committed to the W&H cause that he once snapped himself in half in the middle of a game. We hope that he will return in one piece, one day!
1st XI Runs: 197 runs @ 28.14
Wickets: 19 @ 22.58
Started very promisingly by arriving 6 weeks before his predecessor, taking a few wickets, winding up Valley End’s prima donna and buying a bottle of champagne all within his 1st week. Despite enduring a tough middle period in the 2009 season he didn’t disappoint as he came good when it mattered with important wickets and runs in the promotion chase.
More importantly to the club, the amount of work and help he put in during his few months with us was greatly appreciated, whether it be behind the bar, helping Couch with the ground or coaching the colts. We shall hopefully reap the benefits of the latter for the next decade.
In the bar sadly he underperformed always turning down drinks, was incredibly shy when it came to talking to strangers and avoided any potential embarrassment (Private Digby and his impromptu pub crawl hair cut spring to mind). We hope he returns to our ranks soon.
1st XI Runs: 56 runs @ 9.33
It’s a close toss up for the record of the clubs worst ever overseas players between Smethurst and the guy who disappeared after one game. Smethurst probably sneaks it on the basis that the opposition players once castigated their own bowler for getting him out after a 50 ball innings of 4. “What did you do that for? They’re going to have someone who can bat come in now!”. Signed on the basis that he had played for South Africa Schools…. Which we later found out to mean, has played for a school in South Africa. He had all the stats, but most importantly, ‘Guys how did I look from side on’.
1st XI Runs 358 @ 21.06
An Australian overseas working in a bar. Never?! Who knows what the ‘Bishop’ would have done had the pitches and the bowling been as fast as he craved?
Nickname: Hasslehof, Mutch, Glunda
1st XI Runs: 2134 @ 33.87
Wickets: 117 @ 13.86
Picture the scene at the Oval, you reach the top of the staircase and have to decide where to sit, do I go left or right. Thinking that ‘those guys look like fun?!’ he turned right and sat himself behind Walshy and Quaggy! From that moment W&H’s future was changed very much towards the land of the long white cloud.
That chance meeting in 1999 brought about the arrival of one of the clubs most gifted players and fiercest competitors. Another great endorsement for W&H being that Glenn arrived then with the intention of playing a ‘couple of games’ and stuck around for 6 seasons and still now his influence is very much here as he continues to encourage aspiring Kiwi cricketers to take a gap year in Woking to help steepen the learning curve of life!
To Glenn was no such thing as a losing cause, none more so demonstrated when we defended just 89 to gain promotion in 2001 with Glenn bowling 22 overs in a row despite his ‘dodgy knees’. His batting was a joy to watch aswell, adaptable to any cause and able to score at quick pace which had the opposition wilting. Shame he only hit one ton though, records show that he ‘bottled’ it in the 90s a few times.
Also Glenn will point out to you that the play cricket records are incorrect as every time he was out LBW (having typically walked around a straight one) he was never actually out.
Off the field he was the fiercest competitor too, whether it be the shot game, strawpedos or fancy dress competitions, Glenn did not like to lose. The other half creator of the Hasslehof-Rhino competition, the W&H bar is a less competitive place without him and we are glad you didn’t turn left!
1st XI Runs: 3 @ 1.5
Wickets: 29 @ 26.48
A more unlucky cricketer than Keith Goodwin? No matter what time he was out clubbing till or selling ice creams, Doddy’s 1st ball was always on the money. Shame we never quite saw the best in him.
1st XI Runs: 157 @ 12.08
Wickets: 9 @ 42.67
Never quite recaptured his majestic form of the early 90’s upon his return to the club, the Mentalist put it down to having a tough six months. A more whole hearted cricketer on the pitch you could not find and provided us with many amusing moments….. Hide your car keys Curtley!
1st XI Runs: 265 @ 16.56
An Aussie who didn’t drink lager! Enough said
Laurence Van Emmenis
1st XI Runs: 1 @ 1
Played in the 1st XI’s promotion winning game in 2001. For more details on his W&H career see Couch.
1st XI Runs 372 @ 14.31
Pohad the ability to smash any bowler anywhere out of the ground, but sadly after a spate of nasty injuries we have never quite seen it come to fruition.
1st XI Runs: 1051 @ 35.03
1st XI Wickets: 72 @ 14.68
Arguably the catalyst behind Woking and Horsell’s most successful years in 2001/2002, Dicko’s all round performances played a huge part in the promotion season. Part of the old guard, allegedly left because there were ‘too many bloody kiwis’ in the 1s.
1st XI Runs: 793 @ 22.66
Another member from the ‘glory years’. Explosive batsman who could win games on his own. Left the club to play for Guildford 1’s, where he batted at 9. Good decision. All he left us with was ‘arse cream’.
Nicknames: Walshy, Bulldog, Edwin
1st XI Runs: 735 @ 12.46
Wickets: 31 @ 28.77
For 73 years Walshy captained the 1st XI at Woking and Horsell, branding them the Bulldogs famed for their fighting spirit and post match antics. During this time they won a record 4028 games losing only once and Walshy had an unprecedented 8 million ‘run ins’ with the opposition umpires.
One could write for days about what he did for the 1st XI but as he can’t read there wouldn’t be much point. Safe to say that he was a Woking legend of the late 90’s, early 00’s. So much so that when club politics threatened to intervene, even the opposition wanted to stage a ‘sit in’ to get him back at the helm. Also once famously downed a ‘boot of purple haze’ at an opposition club. Out of respect for this amazing effort he was c*ck-eyed and was left by team mates brandishing a fire extinguisher. Often seen spending the teams match fees on champagne in Quake, he could never afford to go out in September when he got round to catching up on payments.
Decided enough was enough after sitting silently with his head under a towel became more common place than doing ‘traffic lights’ at the bar with Frank Butcher hat and 13 point badge on. We miss him.
1st XI Runs: 585 @ 48.75
Wickets: 30 @ 15.70
The one that slipped through the net. The one overseas player who went back to his own country a better cricketer than when he started with us. How that happened no one knows. Maybe it was his 10pm regular disappearing act, maybe it was his dislike of snakey b. Pubie had a fine year for us in 2006. Announcing he was a batsman/wicket keeper, he preceded to top both batting and bowling charts. Now playing 1st class cricket in NZ for Otago.
Nickname: Pavilion Mentalist
Hasslehof Rhino points: 60
Simon became an integral figure of the glory years looking after the bar on match days, and becoming W&H’s own Barmy Army General.
The Mentalists ‘Vodka challenge’ was the foundation for the Hasslehof-Rhino competition and curtailed many an evening if you performed well!
His ethics were clear and simple, support his side to victory, drink his own bodyweight in Stella and then bleat on until speech was not possible, then sit in the corner quietly texting and disappear when it was his round!
His support was invaluable during that time and the bar thrived on match days with him there to serve ‘Walshy’s mates’.
1st XI Runs: 147 @ 18.38
Wickets: 14 @ 17.14
Novel approach once took guard before the previous batsman had made it off the square and also took a catch at slip having had his eyes closed.
1st XI Runs 389 @ 11.44
1st XI Runs: 114 @ 10.36
Arrived at the club with a good reputation at the top of the order, then left after he sh*t himself on Centenary day. Enough said. ‘Turn the lights on’
1st XI Runs: 285 @ 19
The team joker to such an extent that when he took a blow to the head whilst diving for a catch it took his team mates an hour to realize that he was severely concussed. ‘Have I batted yet?’
1st XI Runs: 367 @ 18.35
Celebrated one of the clubs most famous run chases by serving behind a packed bar naked for the evening, before indulging in a spot of naked leap frog!
1st XI Runs 476 @ 23.80
Bodders could throw the ball harder, run further and bowl faster than anyone else and when the ball hit him hard ‘IT DIDN’T HURT’.