CHAPTER TWO
Eurovision Doughnuts Contest

Woking & Horsell 186ao
Ramesh Parthasarathy 52
Mike Walsh 52

Wallington 189-8
Carl Dingwall 4-53
Zohaib Shabir 4-59

W&H lost by 2 wickets
Man of the match Ramesh Parthasarathy


A wise, or was that a boozed man stated that if all caterpillars became butterflies we wouldn’t have annoying and drably coloured nocturnal insects with two wings flittering around our bedside lamp when we are reading our favourite book, ‘Carnival Rides’ the refreshingly good autobiography by Mike Walsh, (now available at all major retail book stockists).

Last weeks MOM received the maximum 12 points from Abdul Zafar, Ben Revell and Bosnia-Herzegovina but surprisingly only 4 and 2 points respectively from their Balkan partners Macedonia and Croatia when he dished out the doughnuts.  However, Abdul in his zeal to vote in this musical small fried cake feast all his ‘That’s Entertainment’ spilled onto his whites.  Some say he released a hidden red staining capsule from his pocket to prove ball marks on his trouser whites.

However, Abdul and Ben were a bit coy about the size of their doughnuts when interviewed by an excited Graham Norton, especially a jammy lipped Ben.  This is precisely why Terry Wogan resigned due to young kid’s propensity to vote for older men giving them cakes.  The captain should take note; this was the fastest they both moved all day!

Thankfully with modern day technology the ‘licko’ could monitor which one of these fine exponents of sugar fuelled treats would wag their tongue first.  Thankfully, for the viewers the ‘hot spot’ was not working as they both seem quite contented.

Unfortunately still on last week’s issue, the tarnish against Captains expenses still drags on (yawn).  Even though the story about the captain’s pre match pad in Weybridge was extremely unnecessary and exaggerated, there is an article in this week’s local rag stating that he is claiming for a penthouse flat in all towns that W&H play in.  This is strongly refuted as the captain does not have a flat in Chobham but is renting a nice little detached 4 bedroom house with tennis court and stable.  However, these claims are within league rules. In good faith a cheque has been sent to the club to pay for a packet of Munster Munch that was claimed for back in August 1998. It’s all a horrible smear campaign.

London Pride moment - Ben’s diving catch down the legside to claim a wicket for Carl.

Lemon Tango moment - Steve Wernberg adorning a very fetching Bikini like W&H jumper.  It did however pronounce his muscles quite nicely.  Unfortunately, it fitted Abdul adequately!

Next week we will have in depth report on the best ways to put a zing in your pipe from the teams resident ‘Sherlock Holmes’ Aamir Hamid. Plus the secret of how Reece Desphande woke up one morning with a spear in his ear.  Book now for your edition of carnival weekly for an in depth review of the W&H 3rd team.

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