CHAPTER THREE
Who are you?

Woking & Horsell 112ao
Merstham 118-2

W&H lost by 8 wickets
Man of the match Jack Allen

With availability all over the place and the team sheet changing more than a female chameleon in a clothes shop the captain the let alone the members have no idea who’s playing in the illustrious 3rd team.  In view of this a player profile has been undertaken for your delectation.

 

Name:            Mike Walsh (C)
Sponsor:        Captaincy- 02   Player- Specsavers
Key fact:        Greatest 3rd team captain that hasn’t gone on to play test cricket
What if not at W&H:    Sheep farming

Name:            Jamie McMahon (VC)
Sponsor:    Vice captain-The cast from Neighbours Player- The cast from Home & Away
Key fact:        Highest score was against a team of Dingoes       
What if not at W&H:    Crime scene investigator

Name:            Ramesh Parthasarathy
Sponsor:    The Greenfinches that eat from his garden Sunflower seed feeder
Key fact:    Only 4th team player from 2008 to cover every blade of grass at the park
What if not at W&H:    Disillusioned

Name:            Steve Wernberg
Sponsor:        Biltong
Key fact:        The biggest car boot of the 3rd team so far this season
What if not at W&H:    Sitting on the top of table mountain wondering

Name:            Hussain Malik
Sponsor:        Spurs supporters club
Key fact:        Umpired once without a coat on-shocking
What if not at W&H:    Gutted

Name:            Joe Dickson
Sponsor:        Munster Munch
Key fact:        Turkey
What if not at W&H:    Listening to them on TES (Third Eleven Special) radio

Name:            Zohaib Shabir
Sponsor:        Jeff Banks
Key fact:        Scruffiest opening bowler of the season (and we’ve had a few!)
What if not at W&H:    On the catwalk

Name:            Jamie Dickson
Sponsor:        Haribo   
Key fact:        Smallest keeper ever, makes Deano look like Joel Garner
What if not at W&H:    Playing Brian Lara cricket on his Nintendo

Name:            Aamir Hamid
Sponsor:        Old Holborn
Key fact:    Won’t shave until W&H 3s win again (gulp-hope he’s doesn’t trip over!)
What if not at W&H:      A ZZ Top roadie

Name:            Hamza Zafar       
Sponsor:        Confused.com
Key fact:        It’s amazing he gets to the ground every week
What if not at W&H:    Walking around in circles

Name:            Jack Allen
Sponsor:        Yates
Key fact:        Peter, Matt and Jerry long lost son and brother!
What if not at W&H:    Working every other week

London Pride moment- Hamza throwing the stumps down from the boundary for a run out.

Lemon Tango moment- Had the opportunity to run out Merstham opening batsman who was on his hands and knees watching us throw the ball, flaming torches and a bucket of glitter between each other rather than at the stumps.

Next week we will have in depth interview with Jamie McMahon to find out why he gave up the opportunity to fish all the billabongs in Oz to become the Chief UK taster of Vegemite. Plus find out why Ramesh feels it necessary to keep the shells on the sunflower seeds to attract more Sparrows.  Book now for your edition of carnival weekly for an in depth review of the W&H 3rd team.

 
 
 


Go to top