WHCC 242-6 - A Khan 97*, G Thabrew 59
Cheam Parish - 131 AO - F Saleem 4-41
by Mike Walsh
In the library of focus is it the wise man who reads the history books? In the chocolate bar of an enraged battle was this match a Bounty?
This match produced several tasters of tango, with in my opinion the greatest demon squelcher moment of the season! Thankfully most of the downing of the Tango was done off the pitch rather than on it. We had a pull out an hour before meet time, blokes with raging hangovers, even apparently and alledgedly a player was seen on match day on the booze with a mysterious girl which subsequently caused them to be violently ill the next day (please do not sue as the source of this information is complately and undeniably dodgy!) Also there were blokes who spent more time on the M23 than at the cricket, a player who ate so much chocolate fudge cake they couldn't (or even be bothered) to bend down because they were so sumoed and there was the big tango moment of the year (see end).
Lost the toss and were inserted. Mr Walker who apparently dankhis own body weight in booze the previous night, wasn't his athletic self decided the best policy was to aim for the middle ball. Unfortunately, unintoxicated players followed suit and the score was 35-3 from 15 overs. I bet you can't tell that there is a collared dove on my bird table whilst writing this. He dabbles in my mixed seed.
Then enters Mr A Khan, who arived so late for the third eleven he ended up in the fourth eleven. He joined Mr G Thabrew. They dominated the bowling and put on 80 for the fourth wicket in 5 overs. Juicy Lucy where are you? Tolworth or Zanzibar we will never know -not here anyway. Mr A Khan started off tentatively with Mr G Thabrew (59) dominating the partnership. However, with support of Mr S Zafar woken up Saturday moning to be told of the big honour of playing against second in the league. Mr A Khan took charge. They dramatically took the score from 124-5 to 209-6 in 10 overs and we subsequently finished on a competetive 242.
Aftera top tea in which the devouring of a Chocolate Fudge Cake by the opening bowler Mr S Hussain the like of which has not been seen since Mr M Worgandestroyed Shalfords angel cake last year. Please also note Mr P Smith was partial tothe home made scones with lashings of jam and cream.
With my bowlers suitably sumoed up they had to be pulleyed to the middle. Mr E Hemmings (aka Mr J Woods) and Mr I Ul Haq (aka Mr S Hussain) opened the bowling and immediately kept i tighter than their trouser strings. Mr J Woods was the pick of the bowlers and spun it more than M J Hargreaves. Mr T Woods kept it in the same vein apart from when giving advice to Junior, when uopn bowling a poor ball blamed the advisor (Oh dear one less fishfinger for you for tea tonight!)
Upon digestion of the scones Mr P Smith enetered the frame with Mr F Saleem. Both had points to prove even though Mr P Smith had a dodgy ankle the scones hadn't lightened the load and Mr F Saleem reselected after being dropped midweek.
The score at drinks was 75-4 in cmparison to our 72-3 at the same stage. Mr P Smith bowled unluckily but should have three weeks break more often as he continued topin the oppo down. Where he didn't get the luck Mr F Saleem did by claiming 2 victims with played ons. With the oppo needing 10 an over with two wickets remaining, the match was sewn up and was completed with a run out due to a superb throw from Mr Stevens.
Lemon Tango Moment - I hope you enjoy it as much as me. Upon leaving Cheam we realised a player was missing, Mr S Hussain. Whilst investigating Mr T Woods entered the oppo clubhouse and heard a distraught yelp of help me. Following the calls of distress it became evident that Mr S Hussain had locked himself in the crapper! Tremendous!
astle Moment - See above!