East Horsley Vs King and Whores (AKA WHCC Sunday XI) 1st September 2002.

A change of scenery was in order for the Sunday bunch as we went ‘on tour’ for an away game to the millionaires playground of East Horsley. Most of the team had decided to have a quick recce of the area for future burglary opportunities but fortunately despite Gribbler’s best efforts to look shifty, drugged up and like bench dwelling material we weren’t barred entry.

The weather was a mix of a slight chill (clouds on) and bloody hot (clouds off) but the track was dry and slightly cracked in places with an undulating run up and outfield and Fingers elected to bat first following his usual toss win (surely Fingers is the best (and biggest) tosser in the club)? (Nah, its probably you Dave - Ed)

Once again Boycott Smith opened the batting (it doesn’t even raise an abusive heckle anymore) with the skipper scoring some early boundaries before losing his wicket.

It wasn’t long before Gribbler and Beautiful were discussing the opportunities of the job market and the affordability of housing in the current market for first time buyers, I was personally stunned at the maturity of the conversation (and Gribbler talking about employment). Having returned from a brief stint scoring in the shade (not sex under a tree) I was re-assured to see that normality had returned to the group for several reasons: 1) Our team name on the scoreboard was obviously incorrect and Gribbler had taken it upon himself to suitably rectify the situation and adjust our name to ‘King and Whores’. 2) The discussion had progressed to the likely cost of the housing around the venue and what personal sacrifices would need to be made to afford such a property or as Gribbler would put it: ‘ If you had to take it up the Gary Glitter how much would you do it for?’ For information purposes Beautiful would do it for £1 million, Fowles for £5 million, Gribbler said he would hold out for ten (we assumed a tenner but even then no-one was offering).

Dave Gianotti once again showed his class and limpet like qualities at the crease as he stabilised the innings until his regular partner Albert started to accelerate the run rate.

Generally the oppositions bowling was lively with several balls bouncing up round the ears and Dave and Albert played well not to give any chances. Once the two amigos had settled Albert started to attack and his offensive style was matched by Dave who continued in this vein even after Albert had been replaced in the middle by Hasan (usual talking a good game smacking the ball around and getting out) and then Alan Taylor (slightly miffed as the Chelsea / Arsenal game was about to kick off). Dave Gianotti’s earlier partnership of 58 with Albert was soon surpassed (65) before Alan was dismissed on 25 so he could listen to the football. An extremely knackered Dave joined him shortly afterwards having compiled his 4th Sunday half century of the season with a personal season best of 73.

Ben and Gribbler then plundered some runs late on before the skipper declared on 194 for 6 off 43 overs.

Alan reminded everyone that the last time he played with Ben he was about 16 (not kiddy fiddling) and less tanned and that he was looking forward to keeping to him. That feeling lasted about an over in which Alan was made to dive all over the place as Ben sprayed it around. Mike Walsh at the other end made good use of the sloping pitch and regularly swung the ball and the opening bowlers managed to dislodge the top two batsmen. Fowles and Smith also chipped in with some wickets but expensive overs meant the opposition were in with a chance of winning. Chris Guest and Ben came in to try and bowl East Horsley out as they went for the win. For a change Dave Gianotti had bought his fielding head with him and took a blinding instinctive left handed diving catch at point and ran out one of their players but he managed a mis-field in there that cost us a few important runs. Despite 2 wickets from Chris, 20 runs that suddenly appeared on the score board (looking at my figures I am claiming they added them in there) and two definite run outs that weren’t given East Horsley managed to win in the last few balls with a score of 196 for 7.

Special note needs to be made of Ben’s competitive attempts to not bowl out children but kick the ball around in tantrums, Smithy’s and Gribbler’s references to the umpires concerning run outs and Mike Walsh for abusive comments about his own bowling while the ball is in mid-flight !

And Finally, Congratulations to Helen (official team spy and crowd) and Peter for finally getting engaged, we can now get our thinking caps on and work out what we can do for a stag do !!!

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