If the new slimline version of the old clock worked, it would have said ten to two when half the team were to be found in a huddle at deep fine leg, getting into a deep and fine mess in their struggle to untangle the boundary rope. We imagine the rope to have been left in this challenging condition to provide us with a team building exercise before the game. The effectiveness of the exercise is in question. Next week we will split the atom at third man.

Being far too sensible to get involved with the rope-a-dope shenanigans, three members of the Bennett family were making good use of the new nets. It was with a mixture of dewy eyed nostalgia and misplaced hope that we welcomed back to the fold David ‘I didn’t touch it’ Bennett, freshly returned from his North American jaunt. It was, we gather, an enjoyable and successful trip measured mainly on the basis of his being responsible for fewer crashes than his companions.

Also returning to the team was Smithy who also had an enjoyable and successful trip to America (did he mention where he went?) measured mainly on the basis, he says, of his out-drinking his companions.

Not for the first time this season the fixture card was cast aside as, not for the first time this season, we welcomed Old Woking to Brewery Road – Twickenham, our scheduled opposition, having pulled out in the week.

Sunny Sunday protocol was followed as the captain won the toss and elected to bat. \

The entertainment started with our opening crooners Dean and Bennett getting us off to a solid start until Peter ‘I prefer Frank’ Allan pressed the buzzer in the belief that Bennett did indeed touch it. Frank being unavailable, Bennett was followed onto the stage by (Francis) Albert.

Dean continued as front man on his way to an impressive 55. Jack raised the tempo towards the end but Woking (and Horsell) finished on a distinctly MOR 159.

Harmony, as always, was restored at tea thanks to Stephanie and Charlie.

Despite the best efforts of our bowlers, Jack, Smithy and Albert in particular toiling without much luck, (Old) Woking knocked off the runs without much trouble.

Our cigar chomping, Mike Portlock cap wearing keeper defied his 70 years and one day behind, and often miles to the leg side of, the stumps.

Fireworks during the drinks break were unexpected and unexplained.

Next week: Loverat to join Ratpack?

 

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